So I wonder if anyone was actually caught burying beer on the beach last night, as the 2008 Celebration of Light kicks off this evening. With previous festivals costing the city millions, there's no way to celebrate the fact that we aren't quite ready to give up our modern indulgences like four nights of explosive pyrotechnics. I say bring back Benson & Hedges at least... or get one of the gangs to sponsor it?

Costly fuel is breeding a new generation of 'hypermilers', drivers who'll do just about anything to save fuel... even slow down (to the chagrin of many on the highway). The practice is "snowballing", and three of the most popular hypermiling techniques are "Driving With Load," "The Pulse And Glide" and the "Face Out." Somebody get me a car, stat. I also had a good laugh at this article form the Calgary Sun: hypermilers can be a hyperdanger. Thinking about that newspaper reminds me why I moved to Van. Oh and the white supremacists help too.

Here's some British Columbian fuel-saving minus the sexual innuendo: using our own crap to fuel the furnace. We're harnessing our fecal matter in a few other ways already... but if this catches on in Metro Van fast enough, it'd be a little easier to shrug off those "Olympics are driven by a pile of shit" comments.

And while The Man scrambles, learn what you can do over at One Day, a Vancouver initiative with a new website that gives you all kinds of info on the steps you can take to reduce your own energy consumption. Tangentially related: The Urge To End It All - one to print off/bookmark.

Is that H&M, or HIV? Either way, I see a lot of it.

Premier says border line-ups shouldn't be what's remembered about 2010. No, apparently we'd rather be remembered for our awesome display of open drug use and third-world squalor.

Most British Columbians would welcome addiction housing in their neighborhood, suggests poll. But when asked about hipsters playing soccer, they were less supportive.

Tough week for the homeless. Yeah but its good to keep them on their toes. You know, so they don't get too comfortable.

NPA using old anti-NDP tactic. Which would have worked, except that nobody gives a shit.

So a bit more truth comes out of the whole blackout situation... as the public learns that BC Hydro's grid is so maxed out that they're willing to pay some customers to shut off power during peak winter days. Apparantly we'll have to 'hold our breath until the mercury drops' and should all know that 'remedies are years away.' But no worries, the Olympics just power themselves on patriotism, goodwill, and global spirit, right? Pfft, at least we won't need riots when the whole city just explodes from underneath our feet during the opening ceremonies.

The RCMP who tased Dziekanski need our sympathy too! Cause, ya know, they're also "wishing that it never happened," or so announced Mr. Campbell on Friday. Maybe some sympathy for being brainwashed into believing that taser use is safe and non-lethal... bur otherwise, yep... I'm sure taking someone's life is a kick to the moral testicles. Campbell's comments follow the recent release of emails showing he was "highly complimentary of the force" and "disappointed over the degree of criticism" only a month following. How many ways can you spell bastard?

Should smoking on the beach be banned? After some time at Kits beach on Sunday, I'm lobbying for a ban on cell phones and protein powder.

I always kind of laughed at the amount of money people are willing to pay to guzzle butter while looking chic. But how about this for an extra-large serving of modern absurdity: One Vancouverite helps shell out $3000 to save a 10kg lobster...

WTF? Have we Vancouverites lost our minds?

Anti-poverty activists accuse Vancouver's downtown ambassadors of discrimination. You had to throw that in there, eh? You couldn't have just said "Vancouver's downtown ambassadors accused of discrimination", noooo.

CanWest huffs and puffs while free speech burns. I'm sorry I can't the image of a cartoon wolf dressed as a paper boy blowing down this little Palestinian refugee camp.

Blackout offers leaders a wake-up call. Foremost being the revelation that you can't vote without electricity.

B.C. books $2.9 billion budget surplus. Sweet! Bank that shit. Don't give any of it to Cambie Merchants, don't use it for light rail into the Fraser Valley, don't compensate forestry workers, don't use it for land claims, and don't invest it in alternative energy.

Well, no Brew first thing this morning... here's hoping Sean didn't get assassinated by a bunch of hipster haters. As far as that goes, I say come on down to Yaletown; I get the urge for a game of soccer like six times a day with all these ratlike pooches being dragged about.

Regardless, I'm giving you a short, impromptu one once again. Sean probably just got sucked away last night by the downtown glow now that powers back and businesses can tally the lost earnings, not that they'll be getting anything back. Good thing Rogers wasn't letting Future Shop sell the iPhones, or there would've been... more angry geek blog posts to deal with?

It takes 11 date rapes in the Downtown Eastside before it gets any attention. And on a similar note: not every sex crazed man stalks prey in seedy downtown bars, so maybe you should think twice before you accept that glass of water from your MD next time you're in to reload on birth control.

Learn about Velib, the new bike sharing program in Paris which "has generated more than 25 million new bicycle trips in its first year, 10% of which substitute former car trips." There's also now a bike share program starting up in London and a few other European cities. Is this kind of thing feasible for Vancouver? Someone more inclined to pedal wanna inform us? I don't have the time to research this morning... and my only experience is drunkenly throwing 'purple-yellow's off the top of the UBC Parkade.

All the evidence you need that we have to get that Omar kid out of Guantanamo: the torture playlist. I reckon the 'Meow Mix Theme Song' on repeat would would break my will faster than anything else. Listen all the way through to find out just how much Metallica loves it when "Enter Sandman" gets used to set the mood for some good ol' fashioned waterboarding.

So the power went out downtown and CBC tells you everything while CKNW give us the existential version. I've heard one too many people pull the "spoilt bastards can't live without power" card over the last couple days. Hello? We live in the society we live in, and this is the core of the largest metropolitan area in Western Canada. The place is practically defined by electricity, and you can't blame the people who live and work here for feeling a little out of sorts. Though I must admit it was fun walking around the Robson & Granville area on Monday morning and watching the chaos of cars and pedestrians completely unable to share the road before the transit cops arrived. And I suppose you couldn't ask for a timelier reminder of our society's consumptive reliance... and the fact that our hearts still keep pumping after the air conditioners die.

Let's just hope no crazies are taking notes with some epic Olympic shenanigans in mind. Meh, the riot clock shall tick on regardless of downtown power levels, though I'm sure as long as the "french quarter" doesn't blow up everyone'll be as happy as an island of inebriated tourists.

Here's my favourite blog-reaction to the event. A few of those lines are definitely getting added to my found-ESL-poetry collection. And this must be the guy who was actually responsible. Cmon', his mood is 'amused' and he writes in a language I can't even confidently identify.

The Happy Frog have a good interview up with panelists form Saturday's Peak Oil & The Media discussion. Some important stuff that you won't be able to ignore for much longer.

So any takers for solar power yet? Though if BC Hydro does decide to embrace it full force, can we stick the inevitable bundle of combustible wires underneath Surrey?

I say you might as well sell the car now and start saving up for that private island, especially since we'll all be living on a bunch of glorified lily pads sooner or later...