It's time to dish out some free movie passes!

I gave you the lowdown on Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer when I gave it a positive review last weekend (and I'm not alone, as the films been getting good reception all 'round). Short version: the Canadian-made indie horror-comedy tries to recreate the fun of those good ol' 80s splatter movies, and while never quite reaching the heights of 'Evil Dead 2' or 'Cabin Fever', it's a hell of a lot fun; full of enough gore and laughs to fill anyone's need for ninety minutes of escapism.

The movie opens on Friday, but we've got a handful of passes for a 7:00pm Thursday night preview screening downtown at the Granville 7. If you're not en route to Pemberton, wrapped up in a pre-No Age beer pong tournament, or heaven forbid, seeing Judas Priest at GM Place, you can't do much better for Thursday evening entertainment than free gore.

View a trailer and win tickets after the jump...

What the hell has happened to the modern monster movie? From the king of cult shock films Takashi Miike to the box-office success of the Hostel series to somehow legitimizing a 5 sequel SAW franchise, it's clear that the monster movie of yore has given way to a new era of "shock horror." Raised on a steady diet of Guantanamo Bay and Grand Theft Auto IV, the youth of today seem more interested in watching the meticulous re-creation of real life violence (occurring in some kind of moral vacuum) than they are in seeing the romantically bloody playout of Good versus Evil, which is what scary movies used to be about...

While 'shock horror' has existed for a long time (did someone say 'Texas Chainsaw?'), it's never been near as popular as it is today. I'm not here to perform a deep social analysis, but I can tell you about one new Canadian made film that works against the grain, hearkening back to the days when horror was about cool monsters, buckets of blood, and weekend escapism (i.e, the 80s?). Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer is the work of a trio of Ottawa based independent filmmakers (and VFS alum) who grew up on a steady diet of 'Nightmare on Elm Street' and were put off by the "recent trend towards R-rated torture porn." After five short films, Monster Slayer may still be a decidedly R-rated debut feature, but this tale of a reluctant young antihero battling the mythical (and bloodpack-loaded) forces of latex evil in the halls of his own night school is ultimately more gut-busting than it is gut-wrenching, and will appeal to anyone sick of pseudo-snuff and still crossing their fingers for an 'Evil Dead 4'.

Right as the Festival d'été francophone came to an end with Tuesday night's celebration of Saint Jean-Baptiste Day, the 2nd Annual French Film Festival began. Although by the time you read this the first movie (Roman de Gare) will have already been showing for a week, hopefully some of these recommendations will come in handy if you have time to check out the festival. All of the movies come with English subtitles, bien sûr, so don't worry if your French is not up to par.

3) Priceless (Hors de prix) - This is a light comedy about a gold digger (Audrey Tautou) who sleeps with a hotel bartender (Gad Elmaleh) because she mistakes him for a rich man. The guy decides that she's just too good to let go, and here begins his quest to win her heart. Yeah, the plot has been done before. Yeah, the movie came out in 2006. But it's potentially an enjoyable film that contrasts with the more serious subject matter of some of the other ones. If you find Audrey Tautou as charming as I do, perhaps this film is worth seeing. You can catch it starting July 4th.

2) Love Songs (Les Chansons d'amour) - I don't usually like musicals, but something about the quirky trailer and the Parisian backdrop makes me want to see this one. It's all about the intricacies of a love triangle, and also what happens when a fourth actor comes into the picture (does that make it a love rectangle?). This film, which has become a bit of a cult favorite in France and Belgium, makes its debut on July 11th.

1) The Last Mistress (Une vieille maîtresse) - Something about steamy 19th-century romance makes for good film. Think The Atonement, but more French (that means that at least the sex scenes should be more exciting!). I'm definitely looking forward to seeing this one - it's been acclaimed at a bunch of movie festivals, and I've generally heard good reviews. It starts July 25th.

I suspect we can all relate to the feeling Gwendal Castellan had while at work in a windowless office a few years ago: a longing for something new, a change of pace, maybe a jolt to break free from a rut you may be slipping into. For some a weekend in Tofino will do the trick. Not Castellan. His plan? Build a bicycle and ride it from the very tip of South America up to the Canadian Arctic.

Quitting his job, he began to put his plan in motion. He built a tandem bike that can be altered on the road to ride as a single. He consulted maps and planned routes. He put the call out to find a riding partner or two. Then he got hit by a car. A minor setback turned positive; Castellan was not seriously injured, but used his settlement to purchase a camera and the final piece to document the journey fell into place.

The resulting film - Long Road North, directed by Castellan and Ian Hinkle - had it's world premier at the Doxa Film Fest and sold out both screenings. The filmmakers are putting on one more screening this Tuesday, June 24th at the Ridge Theatre as a fundraiser for the Vancouver Area Cycling Coalition. Ticket info and an interview with Castellan after the jump...

I'll come right out and say it: I'd never seen a film of Uwe Boll's. The German director's career took off (for better or worse) with House of the Dead, an '03 adaptation of the 90s light-gun arcade game. Since then he's been the go-to man for mid-profile video game adaptations, with films including 'Alone in the Dark' and the 'BloodRayne' series. My game-to-film watching days ended at Jean Claude as Guile. And after HoTD's universally scathing reviews, Boll's work sealed a spot on my list of films to avoid. The guys been dubbed the Ed Wood of our generation... he prefers to call himself "the only fucking genius" of our generation.

So why was I jumping at the chance to see his newest film 'Postal' when Only announced the sneak preview? Well, 'cause the thing about Uwe Boll is that he makes statements like the above. By Hollywood standards he's batshit insane; the apex of Uwe-chaos reached during his boxing-ring takedown of five internet critics (you may have heard about it, as it happened here in Vancouver) and subsequent challenges to Michael Bay. After a quick IMDB search, I found out that 'Postal' is Uwe's satirical take on post-9/11 America; staring Dave Foley ('Kids in the Hall', 'Newsradio'), opening with the collapse of the WTC, and boycotted in the States. Um, yes please.

So, although the girlfriend and I were prepared for anything as we stood outside of Granville 7 on Thursday, we were still left pretty damn speechless at the sight of a giant walking penis (photos below), passing out promotional pictures of Osama & Bush holding hands. Soon enough the Only magazine reps showed up to fill us in on the fact that Uwe Boll himself would there for a Q&A. All the raving, politically-incorrect Germanic juice after the jump...

First of all, let me point out that no, I have not recently adopted the use of Internet Slang nor am I so lazy that I cannot type out 3 letters. I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt here and assume most people are already familiar with 4REAL and their mantra. If this is the case, skip the next two paragraphs. For the rest, 4REAL is a documentary television project turned international success story and this summer they are turning up the good time vibes.