So I wonder if anyone was actually caught burying beer on the beach last night, as the 2008 Celebration of Light kicks off this evening. With previous festivals costing the city millions, there's no way to celebrate the fact that we aren't quite ready to give up our modern indulgences like four nights of explosive pyrotechnics. I say bring back Benson & Hedges at least... or get one of the gangs to sponsor it?

Costly fuel is breeding a new generation of 'hypermilers', drivers who'll do just about anything to save fuel... even slow down (to the chagrin of many on the highway). The practice is "snowballing", and three of the most popular hypermiling techniques are "Driving With Load," "The Pulse And Glide" and the "Face Out." Somebody get me a car, stat. I also had a good laugh at this article form the Calgary Sun: hypermilers can be a hyperdanger. Thinking about that newspaper reminds me why I moved to Van. Oh and the white supremacists help too.

Here's some British Columbian fuel-saving minus the sexual innuendo: using our own crap to fuel the furnace. We're harnessing our fecal matter in a few other ways already... but if this catches on in Metro Van fast enough, it'd be a little easier to shrug off those "Olympics are driven by a pile of shit" comments.

And while The Man scrambles, learn what you can do over at One Day, a Vancouver initiative with a new website that gives you all kinds of info on the steps you can take to reduce your own energy consumption. Tangentially related: The Urge To End It All - one to print off/bookmark.

Is that H&M, or HIV? Either way, I see a lot of it.

It's time to dish out some free movie passes!

I gave you the lowdown on Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer when I gave it a positive review last weekend (and I'm not alone, as the films been getting good reception all 'round). Short version: the Canadian-made indie horror-comedy tries to recreate the fun of those good ol' 80s splatter movies, and while never quite reaching the heights of 'Evil Dead 2' or 'Cabin Fever', it's a hell of a lot fun; full of enough gore and laughs to fill anyone's need for ninety minutes of escapism.

The movie opens on Friday, but we've got a handful of passes for a 7:00pm Thursday night preview screening downtown at the Granville 7. If you're not en route to Pemberton, wrapped up in a pre-No Age beer pong tournament, or heaven forbid, seeing Judas Priest at GM Place, you can't do much better for Thursday evening entertainment than free gore.

View a trailer and win tickets after the jump...

So a bit more truth comes out of the whole blackout situation... as the public learns that BC Hydro's grid is so maxed out that they're willing to pay some customers to shut off power during peak winter days. Apparantly we'll have to 'hold our breath until the mercury drops' and should all know that 'remedies are years away.' But no worries, the Olympics just power themselves on patriotism, goodwill, and global spirit, right? Pfft, at least we won't need riots when the whole city just explodes from underneath our feet during the opening ceremonies.

The RCMP who tased Dziekanski need our sympathy too! Cause, ya know, they're also "wishing that it never happened," or so announced Mr. Campbell on Friday. Maybe some sympathy for being brainwashed into believing that taser use is safe and non-lethal... bur otherwise, yep... I'm sure taking someone's life is a kick to the moral testicles. Campbell's comments follow the recent release of emails showing he was "highly complimentary of the force" and "disappointed over the degree of criticism" only a month following. How many ways can you spell bastard?

Should smoking on the beach be banned? After some time at Kits beach on Sunday, I'm lobbying for a ban on cell phones and protein powder.

I always kind of laughed at the amount of money people are willing to pay to guzzle butter while looking chic. But how about this for an extra-large serving of modern absurdity: One Vancouverite helps shell out $3000 to save a 10kg lobster...

What the hell has happened to the modern monster movie? From the king of cult shock films Takashi Miike to the box-office success of the Hostel series to somehow legitimizing a 5 sequel SAW franchise, it's clear that the monster movie of yore has given way to a new era of "shock horror." Raised on a steady diet of Guantanamo Bay and Grand Theft Auto IV, the youth of today seem more interested in watching the meticulous re-creation of real life violence (occurring in some kind of moral vacuum) than they are in seeing the romantically bloody playout of Good versus Evil, which is what scary movies used to be about...

While 'shock horror' has existed for a long time (did someone say 'Texas Chainsaw?'), it's never been near as popular as it is today. I'm not here to perform a deep social analysis, but I can tell you about one new Canadian made film that works against the grain, hearkening back to the days when horror was about cool monsters, buckets of blood, and weekend escapism (i.e, the 80s?). Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer is the work of a trio of Ottawa based independent filmmakers (and VFS alum) who grew up on a steady diet of 'Nightmare on Elm Street' and were put off by the "recent trend towards R-rated torture porn." After five short films, Monster Slayer may still be a decidedly R-rated debut feature, but this tale of a reluctant young antihero battling the mythical (and bloodpack-loaded) forces of latex evil in the halls of his own night school is ultimately more gut-busting than it is gut-wrenching, and will appeal to anyone sick of pseudo-snuff and still crossing their fingers for an 'Evil Dead 4'.

Well, no Brew first thing this morning... here's hoping Sean didn't get assassinated by a bunch of hipster haters. As far as that goes, I say come on down to Yaletown; I get the urge for a game of soccer like six times a day with all these ratlike pooches being dragged about.

Regardless, I'm giving you a short, impromptu one once again. Sean probably just got sucked away last night by the downtown glow now that powers back and businesses can tally the lost earnings, not that they'll be getting anything back. Good thing Rogers wasn't letting Future Shop sell the iPhones, or there would've been... more angry geek blog posts to deal with?

It takes 11 date rapes in the Downtown Eastside before it gets any attention. And on a similar note: not every sex crazed man stalks prey in seedy downtown bars, so maybe you should think twice before you accept that glass of water from your MD next time you're in to reload on birth control.

Learn about Velib, the new bike sharing program in Paris which "has generated more than 25 million new bicycle trips in its first year, 10% of which substitute former car trips." There's also now a bike share program starting up in London and a few other European cities. Is this kind of thing feasible for Vancouver? Someone more inclined to pedal wanna inform us? I don't have the time to research this morning... and my only experience is drunkenly throwing 'purple-yellow's off the top of the UBC Parkade.

All the evidence you need that we have to get that Omar kid out of Guantanamo: the torture playlist. I reckon the 'Meow Mix Theme Song' on repeat would would break my will faster than anything else. Listen all the way through to find out just how much Metallica loves it when "Enter Sandman" gets used to set the mood for some good ol' fashioned waterboarding.

So the power went out downtown and CBC tells you everything while CKNW give us the existential version. I've heard one too many people pull the "spoilt bastards can't live without power" card over the last couple days. Hello? We live in the society we live in, and this is the core of the largest metropolitan area in Western Canada. The place is practically defined by electricity, and you can't blame the people who live and work here for feeling a little out of sorts. Though I must admit it was fun walking around the Robson & Granville area on Monday morning and watching the chaos of cars and pedestrians completely unable to share the road before the transit cops arrived. And I suppose you couldn't ask for a timelier reminder of our society's consumptive reliance... and the fact that our hearts still keep pumping after the air conditioners die.

Let's just hope no crazies are taking notes with some epic Olympic shenanigans in mind. Meh, the riot clock shall tick on regardless of downtown power levels, though I'm sure as long as the "french quarter" doesn't blow up everyone'll be as happy as an island of inebriated tourists.

Here's my favourite blog-reaction to the event. A few of those lines are definitely getting added to my found-ESL-poetry collection. And this must be the guy who was actually responsible. Cmon', his mood is 'amused' and he writes in a language I can't even confidently identify.

The Happy Frog have a good interview up with panelists form Saturday's Peak Oil & The Media discussion. Some important stuff that you won't be able to ignore for much longer.

So any takers for solar power yet? Though if BC Hydro does decide to embrace it full force, can we stick the inevitable bundle of combustible wires underneath Surrey?

I say you might as well sell the car now and start saving up for that private island, especially since we'll all be living on a bunch of glorified lily pads sooner or later...